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What, then would be another reasonable criterion by which to judge? If an activity is by its nature highly stimulating, then it belongs only in marriage.

This would include French kissing and touching sensitive areas of the body. Now, there are some promoters of chastity who propose never kissing until the wedding day.

Again, if he were to try to increase the arousal or to prolong the hug hoping for continued arousal, that would be sinful.

(Some people could ruin a free lunch.) The point is that affectionate acts such as hugging or holding hands do not ordinarily cause arousal, because they are not essentially sensual.

[Emotional love] concentrates more on the 'human being', not on the 'body and sex,' and its immediate aim is not enjoyment', but the 'feeling of nearness'.

The pope spoke of a need for "educating [in affection]." Affection calls for "vigilance" so that it not become just a form of "sensual and sexual gratification." He stated clearly, "There can be no genuine [affection] without a perfected habit of continence, which has its origin in a will always ready to show loving kindness, and so overcome the temptation merely to enjoy..." Unintended Arousal But, what if a man gets stirred up sexually when he chastely hugs a woman or holds her hand or kisses her gently. No, not if he is not seeking pleasure in these acts which have the nature of affection.

However, it seems that in almost every case there is one ingredient missing: an explanation of what activities short of sexual intercourse are immoral and should be avoided.

One seminarian asked me if he should stop hugging the young women who wanted to hug him, because at times he had looked forward to the physical buzz he might experience. In fact, one sign of sexual maturity in a man is to be able to make a habit of ignoring unwanted reactions to women.But even if he (or she) were not to pursue the continued arousal, prolonged kissing shifts the emphasis from giving to taking (even if not sexual), which is not a good preparation for successful marriage.Taking, as opposed to receiving, is fundamentally selfish.This is a virtue which is likely to serve him well throughout life. Affectionate kissing can be a way of manifesting a feeling of nearness, especially if it is brief.Prolonged kissing, even if done in a tender, affectionate way, is a way of enjoying each other, more than communicating nearness or solidarity.

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No, but he might simply take her hand and kiss it before releasing it, especially if he feels he might be tempted to cultivate the unintended arousal.

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