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the problem; it simply makes it easier to pretend that it doesn’t exist. The problem is that social circles – especially geeky ones – tend to be loathe to exclude people.This is one of the classic geek social fallacies – that ostracizers are inherently bad and trying to exclude someone (no matter how deserved) is just and everyone knows that friends don’t do that.
They drain the life from you and leave you feeling miserable – especially about yourself and the things you love.
On the whole, established social groups tend to be conflict averse.
Often there are few crimes worse than “causing drama” – creating conflicts within the group and making everybody uncomfortable.
Unfortunately, it can be difficult to enforce your boundaries with people you consider your friends.
You might not feel as though you have the right or the authority to stand up to them.
Often, people’s default response to discomfort is to try to ignore it and hope it goes away.