Questions to ask someone before dating them
Chances are, only a select few people you are close to now will end up becoming life-long friends.
And even those friendships have to change and become something new many times over, as we all go through various life stages and moves.
What kinds of punishment are appropriate or not appropriate? What kinds of expectations do you each have about money spent on toys, clothes, etc. Will you have separate or joint checking accounts or both? If you do have different accounts, who will be responsible for which expenses?
How far apart would you want your kids to be in age? Would abortion ever be acceptable before or after that? What kinds of philosophies did your parents have about child raising and do you agree or disagree? How do each of you intend to shape your children’s values F. college or graduate school loans or credit card debt). What amount of available money does each of you need to have to feel comfortable?
She makes me feel guilty that I have a life and can't talk every day!
But you can still get married with the confidence that you’ll enjoy the healthy, holy marriage God wants you to have if you invest time before getting married into asking wise questions.Don’t hesitate to start off on the right foot as you build your relationship to last a lifetime. What do you expect from a marital partner regarding emotional support during exciting times, sad times, periods of illness and job loss? Will you set aside one night just to be together alone to catch up with each other and have fun? What size house is important and in what kind of neighborhood do you hope to live in both now and in the future? Are you both clear how much alone time the other needs? How long does your partner need to spend with friends separately and together? Do you agree how much time is appropriate to give to work? Do you both expect to support the family financially and will that be different when kids arrive? Are you both comfortable with the salary differential between you? How will you deal with times when one or both of you has reached a midlife career point, and you need to change some aspects of your life? If I can be of help, please don’t hesitate to reach out, especially if you’re in the NYC, Midtown Manhattan or Westchester areas of New York. Talk about how each of you plans to earn, spend, save, give, and invest money if you get married, and why.If you discover that one or both of you doesn’t currently have a healthy budget or healthy money management attitudes or habits, get help and make changes before getting married to save yourselves from having to go through tremendous stress afterward. You and your future spouse must tell each other the whole truth about the romantic relationships that you’ve each had with other people previously, regardless of how wild or mild they were.
As a marriage counselor offering premarital counseling for many years, I have selected these as the most important topics along with questions for you to explore before you walk down the aisle.