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looking at someone in a sexual way) at the less extreme end, and sexual exploitation, such as trafficking or abuse, at the more extreme end.”Sexual objectification of women (and men) is rampant in our culture and it is probably getting worse.
As a form of objectification, ogling may or may not be a dangerous trend, but can seriously interfere with a person’s ability to relate in an intimate relationship.
But sexual looking and sexual evaluation of strangers can be seen as unwanted and invasive in itself, quite apart form its impact on partners of sex addicts.
Some women may want to be looked at, but some may feel slimed or even violated by it.
By that I mean often the sex addict will be unable to stop looking at attractive women and will be using the images of sexy women he sees in passing as a way to be swept away, to feed a fantasy life, and to avoid the person he is with.
I saw one sex addict who admitted that he ogled in this way; that he looked at women “from the neck down”.
When he couldn’t stop looking at another woman in a restaurant on his honeymoon it was a wake up call for his wife (and him).
Many sex addicts complain that they are helpless because there are just so many sexy women around and they can’t help looking at them.For some sex addicts looking at women in a sexual way is part of their addictive ritual.They feel deprived of sex, even rejected by the women they look at and this paves the way for them to escape into their other sexually addictive behaviors such as internet porn. As I discussed in a prior post it may not be possible for most of us to tune out sexy women.At that point you can hopefully manage to redirect your thoughts away from sexual objectification and into seeing the person as a person (a student, someone’s daughter, etc.) and to wish them well.One of the partners of sex addicts who wrote to me challenged this idea.
Ogling as a form of sexualizing and objectifying people is so common among sex addicts as to be almost universal.