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That’s embarrassing — for absolutely all parties involved.Unless you’re in the midst of a hot, “I know you’re at work, but I want you now” sexting fit with your partner, don’t fire off dick pics during working hours.We’re all trying our best to be professional adults, damn it. You told me the very first time we had sex, and my vagina quickly figured it out as well.I also now understand why your email address and social media handles all include the number nine. Because I’m heavily distracted by the condom wrapper flopped on top of a stinky pile of clothing behind you..is that your Play Station peeking out from underneath the gym shorts? When sending a dick pic, either focus the photo exclusively on your elegant phallus, held up by your hand if you like, or take a full-body shot in front of a mirror with a clean and non-distracting background (see rule number four on art direction).
Anthony Weiner, perhaps the most famous dick pic fanatics of them all, Anthony Weiner, has taught the world many dick pics don'ts: don’t tweet your dick pic. Don’t send dick pics to women you’re cheating on your wife with, and do not under any circumstances send a dick pic to a minor. Text your lover something along the lines of, “Hey, I’m hard just thinking about you. ” If your partner is sending you sexy photos, it’s a pretty good sign that you can send one back, although it never hurts to ask.
Once a male suitor sent me a photo of his erection in which he was completely naked...except for a pair of white socks and his running shoes. He took the photo standing up, with the phone pointing down at his penis.
It was indeed a lovely penis, but all I could stare at was those glaring white tube socks.
Here are nine you can download right now to create your own secret, racy digital stash.
Private Photo Vault protects your sexy pics behind a PIN-protected folder in your Albums, and you can even set up additional layers of security with passcodes on individual folders within the app.